Best Divorce Letter

Saw this from Dong's Blog. After getting his permission, I copy and paste in my blog. Just for sharing!

Source: [http://www.barghers.com/archives/author/Dong/]

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Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw..

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk panties. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your shows.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-wife,

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to Spain together! Have a great life!

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Dear EX-wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raise me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating meat seven years ago.

About those new silk panties, I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your EX-husband, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem.

文学儿歌

文学儿歌（一）

一闪一闪，亮！

满天，星。

挂于天空，供光明，

恰是小"目"。

一闪一闪，亮！

满天，星。

文学儿歌（二）

三轮车，快也！

姥姥坐其上。

车资五毛，收得一块，

奇哉，奇哉！

文学儿歌（三）

小猴，吱吱，

饿了，跳不得也。

给于香蕉，不！！

好笑！嗯，不好笑吗？

文学儿歌（四）

此乃吾家，山脚下也，

门前有树-椰，亦有花。

父工作，母理家务，

兄弟和气也，

吾爱吾家！

此乃吾家，

吾爱吾家！

[完]

UTAR AS 2006 MAY INTAKE TUTORIAL GROUP 4

SORRY!! Sorry to all my UTAR friends. I shouldn't take that long to write this, sorry to let you all wait. (Anyone waiting for it?!)

BUT, there is a reason why it took me so much time to complete this. Every time when I going to write, I will review the pictures we snapped, and I can't stop myself from recalling those precious memory. Frankly, I missed those day a lot.

I don't know how to make an attractive opening, but I believe pictures tell better than I do.

This is the group of "UTAR AS 2006 MAY INTAKE"— the 2^nd batch guinea pig of UTAR Actuarial Science.

This is the main character, Tutorial Group 4!! From left to right, HE, SHE, IT.

Sorry that I have limited pictures with me, so I unable to intro each of everyone in T4. However, I will introduce those I have their picture with me.

Generally this is the T4's name list, unofficial

Anantha Rajah is the most handsome Indian in UTAR AS 2006 MAY INTAKE (only 1 Indian), and he actually admitted it(definitely). He is also the treasurer of T4.

We became very close friend in Year 2 and Gay in Year 3. He is very generous especially in term of petrol. He fetched me hundreds or thousands miles without asking me to pay for it. Every time I have to go back Penang, he will volunteer to fetch me to terminal and I want to take this opportunity to thank you, sincerely,

THANK YOU BRO! I love you.

Ananth is very special and deserve to be described by me in one whole passage, e.g.

(1) He is the only Indian I knew who is so expert in playing MAHJONG. Yes, no kidding, MAHJONG, Chinese traditional game. A lot Chinese not even know how to play and he already master it.

(2) He got a strange, fat belly.

(3) RENOMA underwear.

I have endless example. Again, pictures tell better.

Handsome?!

His favorite, camwhoring!

Keep on camwhoring!

Non-stop camwhoring!

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Q Weng (Kiew Weng), (can you see him in the picture?)the smartest brain in T4, frequent customer of Dean's List and President's List. He is an owner of Kancil and driver of few course mates. He owns a good voice, but unfortunately I have the chance to hear it once only. (Don't misunderstand me, he still alive)

Good luck in your career. I love you.

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Debbie is HOT and WILD, as I recently describe her in facebook. I admired her voice so much. I can remember when she sang Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love, OMG, is stunning. Voice is not the only thing I admired her for; her English standard is even crazier. She helped me to refine my personal statement when I applying for my current Uni. I would say without her help, impossible I being accepted.

She is a strong girl, physically and mentally. Although a lot of unpleasant occasions had been happened to her, she didn't collapse. Instead, she overcomes it all with guts.

Good Luck Debbie! I love you.

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Yong Ling has been awarded the top 5 prettiest girls in UTAR (I forgot about the ranking, Debbie seems like in the list as well). I do agree she is pretty, but not only by appearance, personality as well.

She is a perfect receiver and translator for me, as a weird transmitter. Every time when I try to deliver my outer space humor, she will be the first one to receive my idea and translate it to understandable idea for public. Without her, I can barely survive in the group with the weird humor.

She created the word "ISH" which later become popular among T4, and later whole UTAR and she loved my "HMMPS" a lot. (Sorry, this is outer space humour, few of you can really get it)

I swear, If I don't have girl friend, I will be……………………

SINGLE!!

Hope you success in your business or anything you up to. I love you.

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Stanley, the most MATURE guy in T4, whole AS (as shown in picture above). Despite his maturity, he can mix perfectly with us without any gap between us. (as shown in pictuer below)

Best evidence of gap-less!

During my 3 years life in UTAR, he had been my supplier of spare part to my little Honda EX5. He had helped me to save a lot in this.

He is part time forecaster and he only working for few days, 1 month before exam. He has 89% accuracy on forecasting the exam questions and because of this, he been surrounded by us every time when exam is near.

Remember to send me your wedding invitation card. I love you.

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Mao De, successor of Johor Biggest Oil Palm Estate owner. He leaved us in Year 2 because he wants to help his father, to reduce his father's burden.

An expert in DotA, "Butterfly" is his favorite item. The first time I went to Mid Valley, I went there with him with his lovely sporty Wira.

Good luck in your snooker business, will visit you in future!! I love you.

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Yieng Ming, a big fan of Stephanie. If I say he is the best guy in T4, everyone will show a thumbs-up for him, nobody will disapprove him.

His house is a Mini Cyber Café for me and Anthony(below), normally every day after lecture ended, we will hide in his house till 10 or 11pm. His favorite instant noodle is "PAPA" brand, he treats me once and it is really not bad!!

He is really god damn nice guy, any help you need, within his capability, he will help. Due to his generous, some of our course mates had actually treated him as maid! WTF?!!!! BUT nvm Yieng Ming, even you been treated as maid, you still a god damn nice maid.

(j.k. I actually admire your generous and I respected you a lot)

Are you still watching news at 8pm? Still taking good care of your Farm Town? Good luck with everything. I love you!!

See, Yieng Ming is helping others to carry beg!!

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Seng Aun! An invisible class mate who turn visible only in year 2 sem 2 or 3!! He becomes closer after he became housemate of Yieng Ming. He also becomes another guy who volunteers to fetch me to any occasion without charges. He always speaks something pointless simply to enjoy our criticism, weird enough.

Another expert of dotA and mahjong.

Favorite and expert hero: -RANDOM,

favorite MAHJONG winning match: BIG 4 HAPPINESS.

Looking forward to play DotA with you. Good luck in your career.

I love you

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Daniel, our T4 class representative. One of the TOP 10 handsome guy in AS (for your information, I am in the list!!) His Toyota Serena always the best vehicle to fetch us all around the world. My best mate in singing, because we simply love to sing!

He is one of the DotA kaki, prefer to use supportive hero (according to him) like Atropos.

He is a good leader. I am lucky enough to join his group, with Ananth, Debbie and Siew Ooi (below). I will not hesitate to say this is the best group. It is so joyful to be in his group.

I got no idea what we are doing there?!

Hei guy, I believe you will be very success in future! Good luck!

I Love you!!!

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Teo Siew Ooi!!! Craziest class mate I ever have. I simply don't know how to describe her fully. Okey, let me try.

She is the first girl of T4 who talked to me.

She says I am weird but she did not aware she is weird as well.

She is the core of T4 spirit. All the happiness and activities are created mainly by her. Penang Trip, Paint Ball, Sing K, Mahjong, Johor, Taman Negara, Movie, bla bla bla. More importantly, she is the one who turn all these memories into objects that we can review.

All the pictures I posted are 95% taken by her camera. Seriously, without her camera, lot memories will be faded. She burnt all these memories into 2pieces of DVD and give each one of us as graduation present, sadly I didn't bring it along with me to London, if not I will review it in a daily basis.

Her contributions to T4 is simply enormous, nobody will doubt it.

Despite her contributions to group, she contributed herself to me as well... hehe~~ Her first night had been given to me! (First night to stay in Roy's house during Johor trip).

I think she likes me and I like her as well.

POMBELEK, don't ever try to think that "STUPID" thing anymore.

All of us willing to support you, just one call is needed.

Do have faith in yourself, I love you.

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TTT, Teng Teng, she is a girl. She...

OMG, how I'm going to describe her?!She has a neutral personality.

She is one of the passenger of Q Weng's car. Her religion is Christian, and her BF too.

He possess a good handwriting, a nice smile, and a nice shirt with "JEANS" printed on it.

Good luck in everything! I love you!

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Anthony, top 10 handsome guy in UTAR (I have to remind you again, I in the list). Another expert in DotA. He is also a generous guy who had offered me lots of free ride. He is a CINCAI-man, anything is OK with him, just don't invite him to clubbing or pub, he don't like it.

He have a funny chinese name, "one plate of rice" in Cantonese. (一碟饭, Yap Tih Fan)

He is the one who taught me how to play DotA, should I say you a good friend or bad friend?!

Recently been informed he had attached, so another top 10 handsome guy in UTAR is not available.

Good luck in your career! and your "love affair"! I love you, as usual

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OK, it is very tired to read such a lengthy entry, I will stop here.

NAH!!!!!

I am a member of Narcism, so I wouldn't let this entry ended without any picture of mine.

Needless to describe myself further, as I said above, picture tells better.

Good luck in your study, Ray! I love you!

Multiplier effect of MORALIZATION

In the Earth, “HUMAN” regard themselves as the most special animal.
I think, HUMAN are really different from other animals in some aspects. You don't agree? Had you seen:

Kangaroo play computer,
Elephant plant vegetable
Penguin use calculator
Eagle become gangster
Camel sms his lover
Tiger read newspaper
Lion use liquid-paper
Squirrel play counter (counter-strike)
Rabbit become doctor
Monkey scold his lecturer………………(infinity example, that's why Human special)


HUMAN can basically be categorized into these few categories, “MAN OR WOMAN”, “GOOD-MAN OR BAD-MAN”, “OLD-MAN OR YOUNG-MAN”, etc.

This whole entry is emphasis on “MORAL-MAN n IMMORAL-MAN” and focus heavy on PRETTY GIRL

Consider a group of people where

CASE A: PRETTY GIRLs have MORAL

MULTIPLIER EFFECT ON GIRLS:
The UGLY one will dare not to be IMMORAL, because they worried others will criticize them,
“OMG, so UGLY yet littering around, and speak X words”.
The UGLY cannot put their reputation on risk, they don’t have the leverage (appearance)
AND
The UGLY like to hang aound with the PRETTY (reason will be discussed below)

MULTIPLIER EFFECT ON GUYS:
It is ALMOST undeniable that all guys have preference on the PRETTY. If guys were to attract the PRETTY, the best way is to follow their paths, join their interests.

CASE B: PRETTY GIRLs are IMMORAL.

MULTIPLIER EFFECT ON GIRLS:
The UGLY want to mix with the PRETTY to become closed friends. This is because a lot of guys are going after the PRETTY, should the guys failed to grab the attention of the PRETTY, they will change their target to the PRETTY’s closed friends.
The UGLY want to have a chance to being chased, so the UGLY will join the PRETTY and to join the PRETTY, they must have common interest, which in this case is, to be IMMORAL.

MULTIPLIER EFFECT ON GUYS:
Same effect with above. It is undeniable that all guys have preference on the PRETTY. If guys were to attract the PRETTY, the best way is to follow their paths, join their interests.

(Here I prove another thing, which is “GUYs are SIMPLE-MINDED” and "GIRLS are COMPLICATED")

The MULTIPLIER of PRETTY GIRLs’ EFFECT on MORALIZATION is growing greater and greater.
Hopefully, the PRETTY learnt MORAL and influence the others.
Then this world will be a better world.


[HAVING PROBLEM WITH MORAL, you are welcome to find me, PRETTY GIRLs…..(only)]

美女效应！！

地球上"人"自称是最尊贵的动物。姑且不论对错，人确实是有点与众（其他动物）不同，因为还没看过

大象看地图，

企鹅用暖炉，

骆驼开冰厨。

但是人仍然可以分类，男人女人，好人坏人，大人小人，古人今人。

这篇比较想讨论有道德的人，和缺乏道德的人。

（道德有些主观，但也有基本依据，本人认为不乱丢垃圾，少烟少酒（最好不烟不酒），不飚车，不lan有型，不满口道义佛理却背道而驰等等，最好有点环保意识）

美女在这儿的责任重大，因为美女就是决定这世上有多少道德的人的主要因素！！！

一个缺乏道德的美女如果转变成有道德的美女，那么她一个人的转变，就会有倍数（multiplier）的力量。

首先，假设有一群人，什么人都有，男人女人，美的丑的……

美女如果有道德

女生：

丑的就不敢没有道德，因为丑的会怕别人的闲言闲语"够力，都已经这样丑了，还要乱丢垃圾"人言可畏，丑的怎样也不会让自己的分数再被扣的！

还有，丑的喜欢参跟美女，因为（以下会谈到，先搁着）

好，现在丑的美的女生都有道德了！！

男生：

几乎可以断言，男生都偏好美女，男生如果要吸引美女，那么就要随其所好，也就是要有道德，帅的，衰的，为了吸引美女，也就要有道德！

假如美女缺乏道德

女生：

丑的想要和美的混在一堆，成为好友，因为很多男生会追美女不遂，转换目标向美女的朋友。丑的为了有机会被追，所以被逼混和没道德的美女，本身也没道德了。

男生：

因为美的没道德，所以在追美女笔记之一-- 投其所好的原理下，男的也要没道德，带美女去飙车，泡夜店等

这美女效应，已经日益强大，所以，希望美女们培养本身的道德，转而影响他人，让这世界道德满溢！！